So What's Next?

There is a story in the New York Times this week about a couple who decided to radically downsize their belongings and simply their lives to an extent that most of us can’t imagine.

They whittled their personal possessions down to 100 items each, got rid of the TV and their cars and now live in a 400 sq. ft. apartment in Portland.  One works at home, the other is finishing graduate school.  (Obviously they have no children who require 1000 pieces of equipment and clothing!)

The article quotes several studies that have found that our mania of “possessing stuff” in this country does not make us happy.   As a de-clutterer, I have personally witnessed the positive psychological effects of a de-cluttered home.  One client was ecstatic with her cleared off countertops and organized kitchen cabinets and found her long lost interest in baking return.

Another self-described “hoarder of family stuff” was delighted to be able to invite six friends over for dinner on the now visible dining room table and not be ashamed for them to see the rest of her home.

Since I’ve moved 5 times in the last 10 years I’ve slowly culled out most of the unnecessary things and have worked hard to resist buying or collecting new things to replace them.  (Except when it comes to books….sigh…)

I recently found a website for Tiny Houses and I’m sort of enthralled.  Here’s a picture of one.  All sorts of folks are “living small”!

Now I’m wondering how far I can go with this.  Unlike some of you, I read the article and thought, “I want to do that!” ( You can read it now if you want to here. )

Then come back please….

For the last year I have contemplated putting all my belongings in storage and becoming a bit of a modern nomad for a year or two.    There are several ways I could do this:

• Find a man with an RV or a sailboat and spend a year on the road or the water…….But that requires finding a man whom I could stand to share a very small space with and I pretty much think that’s not gonna happen.
• Fly to Europe and travel around staying at hostels and monasteries for a year……Not sure of the expense of doing that – requires more research…I’d have to live within my current budget.
• Spend summers here at the lake, move around from my daughter’s to good friends all over the warm South in Winter, and then mooch off the Philadelphia crowd for part of the Spring and Fall.   I  know someone who did this for two years….
• Or I could downsize even more to a very small apartment to use as a home base and use the money I’d be saving on rent to travel a whole lot.  This is actually the most easily accomplished concept but it certainly would be a different lifestyle.
• Or I could build a Tiny House and live at the shore.

  Hmmmm….no more out-of-town and overnight guests;  no more dinner gatherings of 10 – 12 friends;  no more nice, convenient walking community full of great gal pals.  Those might be hard to give up….

But then there is the freedom to explore new places, re-connect with old friends around the country, and write a really interesting blog on my experiences – that’s so tempting and so scary …..

Have any of you considered any sort of plan like this?   Have you tried it for a period of time?     I’d love to hear from you – please leave a comment below.

Meanwhile it would be interesting to check back with the Strobel’s about 5 years from now to see how they’re doing   She’s blogging about their experiment at Rowdy Kittens if you want to follow along – I’ll be reading it regularly for inspiration!

I’m sitting here with tears drying on my cheeks and they are not from sadness.  I’ve been reading archived posts on a blog I found via Twitter this morning.  (That’s what Twitter is good for – finding great websites and blogs, U-tube videos and articles in magazines and newspapers.)

The blog is called The Gypsy Nester; Breaking the Empty Nest Rules.  I’m sure, without having met them, that David and Veronica’s kids are happy and feel loved and supported.  They must since their parents have a practical, healthy and fun attitude about the process of raising children and then letting them go.

Now they are celebrating their empty nest life and by sharing their adventures and day-to-day stories, they are helping all of us appreciate some of the best parts of being Boomers without children. And their observations are hysterical!

I could tell you lots more, but I’d rather you just go read a little for yourself.  I guarantee it will put some laughter into your day!

Their site is at http://www.gypsynester.com      Enjoy! 

I can always find something to read on the wonderful site called Vibrant Nation.  It addresses all the facets of life for women over 50.  There are expert articles and public conversation forums on any topic you can think of.

In a recent blog circle post, Elizabeth Jetton asked the question, “when is enough enough?”  She made me laugh out loud when she called her magnetic attraction to all balls and skeins of soft, colorful yarn her SABLE.  That’s a Stash Accumulated Beyond Life Expectancy.”   Every one of us has some sort of a SABLE now don’t we?

I actually have two – books and arts and crafts stuff.    I’ve often said I should take a part-time job at Barnes & Noble just to support my habit.  When I moved long distance the last time I told the moving company that I had a small amount of furniture, three sets of china and 37 boxes of books!  Some of the china I inherited but I can’t blame anyone else for the book stash. 

My love of learning leads me straight to lots of books on art, gardening, interior design, history, politics, biographies and classic literature. I have to wrench myself away from the “buy 2, get one free” table and hum to myself like Winnie the Pooh as I sashay down the aisles next to the “publishers over runs” piled up with large 70% off stickers.

Meanwhile, my creative side continues to take on new projects that might include sewing, knitting, weaving, fabric collage, art quilting resulting in more than a few plastic bins of fabrics, yarns and embellishment laces, buttons and beads. My latest interest in art journaling means I now own a collection of cool pens, lovely watercolor paints and brushes, jars of Gesso and Modge Podge and assorted stickers and stamps.

On the flip side, since I have moved 6 times in the last ten years, I have really downsized my clothes, linens, cooking utensils and furniture so I feel pretty virtuous about the overall uncluttered state of my home.  Just don’t ask me to get rid of books or clear out my “studio” area. (It’s down in the basement where I can leave a mess  no one sees.

Elizabeth is a yarn lover also.  As a hobby knitter, she wrestles with questions around how we spend our money and why we create our SABLE(s)..  You can read her thoughtful post here.   Then come back and tell us what your stash is.

To paraphrase an old TV ad,      Do you know where your parents are?   Do they need your help?

Do you know what your options are to care for them?

At a social gathering this weekend I found myself in the midst of a conversation with four other mid-life women discussing the challenges of caring for our elderly parents who live far away.

One still lives alone in her own home which brings all the problems of loneliness, possible falling with no help nearby and poor nutrition habits.

Another shares a two- bedroom suite in an assisted living center with her older sister, but she was taken there under duress after a hospital stay and refuses to accept it.

Lisa’s mom and my dad are both in continuous care centers living in their own apartments.  They fix their breakfast and lunch, keep track of their medications without assistance and are totally responsible for their personal care.  Sometimes that doesn’t work very well. Continue Reading »

A small group of women I know have talked about how we could share a living space and still maintain our own privacy for a couple of years now.  We are all single and occupying our own condos or homes which means a lot of wasted space, a lot of energy consumption and a lot of evenings that are too quiet.

None of us are shrinking violets.  We have active lives with varied interests.  We don’t need each other’s help at this point  – we want the companionship and sense of security that would come from living with others.

At the Positive Aging Conference in St. Pete last week, I discovered that there are a variety of groups trying out lots of different models for sharing housing and community.  And they are not all just for women. Continue Reading »